A Japanese wedding

Tatsuhiro and Natsuko's wedding

My birthday this year was a particularly special one. 8 March also happened to be Natsuko Ono's wedding in Saitama, Japan. My relationship with Natsuko and the Ono family goes back really far, when I was 16 to be exact. I had gone on an international girl scout camp in Tokyo and I stayed with the Ono family for almost 2 weeks. It was a fascinating experience to be in Japan, the first country I ever visited (and subsequently another 20 times). And the impression was so great I never stopped being in touch with the family and learning about Japan and Japanese. I learnt Japanese and tried to write to them. At first we communicated mainly in very very basic English and a lot of gestures. But now, after many years....our conversations are mainly in Japanese. Natsuko doesn't even bother to bring along her dictionary anymore when we are together. She rambles on as if I understand everything nowadays..

The Ono family is small. There is Natsuko and then her older brother, Masataka who is married to Mayumi with a really cute daughter called Hiyori, who is now 5 years old. Otohsan (father) and Okahsan (mother) opens a 7-Eleven store at Saitama, in which I have attempted to work in for free. I was an 'arranger'..you know, the one that arranges everything and doesn't need to talk. Otohsan decided to do this after he was retrenched from a bank about 10 years ago. Both of them work really hard for someone at their age. Otohsan goes to work from 2pm to 7am, and Okahsan from 5am to 6pm. I admire their diligence. But they always tell me how happy they are to do something they like.


Okahsan (mother) and Otohsan (father, extreme left)

Actually, when I was told that I will be wearing Natsuko's kimono to the wedding, I almost couldn't believe it. This kimono probably cost about S$10k and it is so difficult to wear that Natsuko only wore it 4 times since her 'Coming-to-Age' ceremony at 20 yrs old. There are 3 layers to the kimono, and an Obi so stuffed with about 10 other layers of cloth belts all tightened around my torso that I could hardly breathe! The lady that was helping me with it said she was already being kind. She couldn't stop laughing when I let out a 'Oh My God' everytime she tightened the belts. And here is the result :)

Natsuko's wedding started off with a ceremony in a room where both sides of the family & relatives sit opposite each other like in negotiation. I wasn't expecting anything like that at all. I wasn't told about this part. Then each of them did a 'jiko shyokai' or a self-introduction. One by one. The gentlemen, clad in their black suits and white ties did their introduction as if in an interview. The ladies, all in black dresses except for the mothers and aunts who were in black kimono, look so sullen one might have thought it must be so wrong to be married. I was really priviledged to be in that room too. It was only for close relatives but I was told that I could sit right next to the grandmother in the church too, as it was 'toku betsu' or special in my case...otherwise I think I should be sitting right at the exit door! But everyone was all smiles when the serious part was over...later I found out from Natsuko no one is supposed to be laughing in the church, so they all suppressed it and let it out later on!

I always think that Japan is a place of contradiction. A place where extremes can co-exist. And no better illustration than kimono clad guests in a church waiting for a bride in white gown to make her vow with her new husband when both are not Christians. And the fact that everyone was in black except the bride and groom. Everyone was sullen in church but all smiles outside. Dad and mum had to do a 90 degrees bow to the new son-in-law in thanks for his promise to take care of the daughter for the rest of her life. It was serious joy.

In her red kimono, Natsuko was later led into the reception by Tatsuhiro walking 10 steps in front of her. I wonder whether that is a sign of submission cast in stone! But in real life, I know that Natsuko is a strong person..she is not going to let anyone control her for sure! :)

Congratulations Tatsuhiro & Natsuko! :)